The writing, observations, and general solid ideas of John-Michael Bond

 

New Shows, Fall Tour, and Last Comic Standing

I’ve updated my shows through the first week of November. It’s going to be a busy month. You can find those dates here. On September 28th I’ll be auditioning for Last Comic Standing. When I was in Chicago this past summer a booker from DC saw me and recommended me for the auditions in Atlanta. That right. A guy from DC saw me in Chicago and got me the gig in Atlanta. Life is weird guys. 

The challenge is to do a 3 and 1/2 minute set thats funny and showcases your personality. Since most of my jokes tend to be long this should be a fun learning experience. Still someone believed I was capable enough to recommend me and that gives me the confidence to take the experience for what it is. Worst case scenario, it’s nice to be leaving for tour immediately after that event. I’ll be featuring for Louis Katz on a few dates before I head to LA. 

It’s nice to finally spend a good chunk of the year on the road. Lets make this shit funny so I can keep doing it. 

Hobby Lobby has inspired me to incorporate.

Since the Supreme Court has decided Corporations are people and don’t have to follow laws if they cite the classic legal argument “because Jesus” I’ve decided to incorporate my comedy career. You know, for freedom.

From this day forth I’m not paying any taxes in fear that they might be used to support the military. For far too long I’ve allowed my tax dollars to support abortions in the 569th trimester. 

My employees don’t have to pay taxes either because even though I’m paying them they might use that money to support wars, and then I’m sort of supporting wars. Right? 

Also I’m not acknowledging or working with guys named Jed anymore. Checked my holy books and Jed’s just aren’t in the cards. 

My buddy Joe Karg makes art for most of the shows that come to Atlanta. He’s a genius and I’m happy he’s around. Thanks for the kind words Joe. 
mostlypenises:

I drew this image of my buddy John Michael Bond in a flash a few months back after feeling guilty that I hadn’t given him a proper illustration yet, and here we are so many months later, and I still haven’t.  I have not forgotten you John Michael. Your watercolor illustration of you as Wolverine along with your favorite X-Men character is coming. I promise. Please continue to love your amazing wife and wait patiently. I will not disappoint. 
For those of you who don’t know John Michael hosts an amazing comedy show in Atlanta every Saturday at 1AM at Smith’s Olde Bar. If you haven’t been, you need to go. It is always an incredibly show with a killer KILLER host. 

My buddy Joe Karg makes art for most of the shows that come to Atlanta. He’s a genius and I’m happy he’s around. Thanks for the kind words Joe. 

mostlypenises:

I drew this image of my buddy John Michael Bond in a flash a few months back after feeling guilty that I hadn’t given him a proper illustration yet, and here we are so many months later, and I still haven’t.  I have not forgotten you John Michael. Your watercolor illustration of you as Wolverine along with your favorite X-Men character is coming. I promise. Please continue to love your amazing wife and wait patiently. I will not disappoint. 

For those of you who don’t know John Michael hosts an amazing comedy show in Atlanta every Saturday at 1AM at Smith’s Olde Bar. If you haven’t been, you need to go. It is always an incredibly show with a killer KILLER host. 

I’m doing two shows with Doug Stanhope this month.

On March 25th and 26th I’m getting to open for Doug Stanhope for the first time. The 25th will be at the Georgia Theater in Athens, GA, and the 26th is in my home town of Chattanooga, TN at Vaudeville Cafe. I’ve seen Stanhope live four times. Each time I left the venue with my face aching from laughing so much. Now I’m just worried he’ll think I’m a square. Still if you follow this blog and live in one of those cities I’d really appreciate you showing up. You can get tickets for the Athens show here and tickets for Chattanooga here

Here’s a clip from his last special, Beer Hall Putsch. 

Dates, shows, and such.

If you’d like to see me tell jokes in the next few months I’ve updated my Shows page with assorted happenings. There’s a few particularly cool shows coming up including one with Doug Stanhope, a few with Dave Ross, and all of the Crom Comedy Festival. I’ll be performing on Competitive Erotic Fan Fiction for the first time at Crom Fest which is incredibly exciting for me and horrifying for my mother. 

This is a picture I drew, it is satire. I met a lot of asshole dudes like this as a social worker. I don’t know what’s up with bigots and jorts. 

This is a picture I drew, it is satire. I met a lot of asshole dudes like this as a social worker. I don’t know what’s up with bigots and jorts. 

Valentine’s Day

This Valentine’s Day I got my wife a Walt Whitman’s sampler. It’s just a box of creek water.

Rush’s last day by John-Michael Bond

Rush’s last day by John-Michael Bond