The writing, observations, and general solid ideas of John-Michael Bond
Since the Supreme Court has decided Corporations are people and don’t have to follow laws if they cite the classic legal argument “because Jesus” I’ve decided to incorporate my comedy career. You know, for freedom.
From this day forth I’m not paying any taxes in fear that they might be used to support the military. For far too long I’ve allowed my tax dollars to support abortions in the 569th trimester.
My employees don’t have to pay taxes either because even though I’m paying them they might use that money to support wars, and then I’m sort of supporting wars. Right?
Also I’m not acknowledging or working with guys named Jed anymore. Checked my holy books and Jed’s just aren’t in the cards.
On March 25th and 26th I’m getting to open for Doug Stanhope for the first time. The 25th will be at the Georgia Theater in Athens, GA, and the 26th is in my home town of Chattanooga, TN at Vaudeville Cafe. I’ve seen Stanhope live four times. Each time I left the venue with my face aching from laughing so much. Now I’m just worried he’ll think I’m a square. Still if you follow this blog and live in one of those cities I’d really appreciate you showing up. You can get tickets for the Athens show here and tickets for Chattanooga here.
Here’s a clip from his last special, Beer Hall Putsch.
If you’d like to see me tell jokes in the next few months I’ve updated my Shows page with assorted happenings. There’s a few particularly cool shows coming up including one with Doug Stanhope, a few with Dave Ross, and all of the Crom Comedy Festival. I’ll be performing on Competitive Erotic Fan Fiction for the first time at Crom Fest which is incredibly exciting for me and horrifying for my mother.
Mia Jackson (via dueordie)
This Valentine’s Day I got my wife a Walt Whitman’s sampler. It’s just a box of creek water.