The writing, observations, and general solid ideas of John-Michael Bond

 

My buddy Joe Karg makes art for most of the shows that come to Atlanta. He’s a genius and I’m happy he’s around. Thanks for the kind words Joe. 
mostlypenises:

I drew this image of my buddy John Michael Bond in a flash a few months back after feeling guilty that I hadn’t given him a proper illustration yet, and here we are so many months later, and I still haven’t.  I have not forgotten you John Michael. Your watercolor illustration of you as Wolverine along with your favorite X-Men character is coming. I promise. Please continue to love your amazing wife and wait patiently. I will not disappoint. 
For those of you who don’t know John Michael hosts an amazing comedy show in Atlanta every Saturday at 1AM at Smith’s Olde Bar. If you haven’t been, you need to go. It is always an incredibly show with a killer KILLER host. 

My buddy Joe Karg makes art for most of the shows that come to Atlanta. He’s a genius and I’m happy he’s around. Thanks for the kind words Joe. 

mostlypenises:

I drew this image of my buddy John Michael Bond in a flash a few months back after feeling guilty that I hadn’t given him a proper illustration yet, and here we are so many months later, and I still haven’t.  I have not forgotten you John Michael. Your watercolor illustration of you as Wolverine along with your favorite X-Men character is coming. I promise. Please continue to love your amazing wife and wait patiently. I will not disappoint. 

For those of you who don’t know John Michael hosts an amazing comedy show in Atlanta every Saturday at 1AM at Smith’s Olde Bar. If you haven’t been, you need to go. It is always an incredibly show with a killer KILLER host. 

I’m doing two shows with Doug Stanhope this month.

On March 25th and 26th I’m getting to open for Doug Stanhope for the first time. The 25th will be at the Georgia Theater in Athens, GA, and the 26th is in my home town of Chattanooga, TN at Vaudeville Cafe. I’ve seen Stanhope live four times. Each time I left the venue with my face aching from laughing so much. Now I’m just worried he’ll think I’m a square. Still if you follow this blog and live in one of those cities I’d really appreciate you showing up. You can get tickets for the Athens show here and tickets for Chattanooga here

Here’s a clip from his last special, Beer Hall Putsch. 

Dates, shows, and such.

If you’d like to see me tell jokes in the next few months I’ve updated my Shows page with assorted happenings. There’s a few particularly cool shows coming up including one with Doug Stanhope, a few with Dave Ross, and all of the Crom Comedy Festival. I’ll be performing on Competitive Erotic Fan Fiction for the first time at Crom Fest which is incredibly exciting for me and horrifying for my mother. 

This is a picture I drew, it is satire. I met a lot of asshole dudes like this as a social worker. I don’t know what’s up with bigots and jorts. 

This is a picture I drew, it is satire. I met a lot of asshole dudes like this as a social worker. I don’t know what’s up with bigots and jorts. 

Valentine’s Day

This Valentine’s Day I got my wife a Walt Whitman’s sampler. It’s just a box of creek water.

Rush’s last day by John-Michael Bond

Rush’s last day by John-Michael Bond

Radiator Hospital "Our Song"

Even though I’ve been with the same woman for almost twelve years I still have a soft spot in my heart for breakup songs. When you’re fighting with someone you can’t give up on sometimes it’s nice to live a little through another persons cuts and bruises.

"Our Song" is one of those brutal breakup songs that should hurt a lot more than it does, but is softened by how upbeat the blows are. Sort of a snotty Elvis Costello vibe with great kissoff’s like "When you call your mom back tell her that I’m the one leaving. You know she wouldn’t understand, and she shouldn’t have to, I won’t hold it against you."

I’m happily in love, but I’m really happy other people are having breakups that inspire them to write music like this. Songs like this make me wish I could skateboard. Click read more if you’d like to read all the lyrics. 

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No Man Should Be Remembered in Sweatpants

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I envy my father. He grew up in an era where rock and roll was still new, a family could survive on one income, and we let grandparents die while they were still fun. It was a glorious era, where you could go from throwing a ball with your Granddaddy behind a church, to burying your Granddaddy behind that same church a week later. And after each there was a nice chicken dinner. It was awesome.

Death still hurt, but for most people it came suddenly. It was a surprise that left you only with the memories of a person’s life, and their sudden exit.

Now science has removed the sudden peacefulness of death, and we can prolong life until it no longer resembles life. Personally life has always been about quality, not quantity, but thanks to the miracle of science mortality is now a hot dog eating contest. Get as much as you can, dignity be damned.

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